For 32 years now, I keep asking Why? Why do people treat their loved ones badly? Why do good people have to protect themselves and be on alert from the closest people to them? Why, after all these years, my husband could not realize that I loved him and wanted to best for him?
I am naïve, but not naïve to the point of thinking there are no bad people in the world. I Know they exist and some behave badly because of bad influences in their upbringing. But why would people behave so badly toward the closest people in their lives? So what if my husband had some inner problems with his siblings and parents as he was growing up? he still had a nice life, graduated college from England with a computer science degree that had served him very well all his life. None of his siblings reached his career standard and level of life. In addition to him exceeding their level of educations, he also exceeded their standard of living by working very hard and reaching high positions in his jobs and businesses. Why does he still hates them and would never admit it but would love to hurt them and see them fail at their jobs and careers?
He carried these feelings toward the closest people in his life to me after we were married. I think he tried to love me and he thought he loved him but people like him could never love others. After a short while, he settled in the same feeling and treatments to me as he had for his siblings. He could not love someone who stays in his life a long time.
I think this is the reason why he cannot have long term friends. I’ve witnessed him getting very close to people but cannot sustain long term relationships. After a while, I never wanted to get close to the new friends he made because I knew that won’t last and even if I liked them, he’ll do everything possible to ruin the relationship. I could not be friends with people sometimes, and ignore them later. The friends I make will remain either close friends or acquaintances depending of our lifestyles but I don’t turn a friend into an enemy for no reason at all.
He traveled a lot which made it easy for him to make short term friends, his lifestyle allowed it. I, on the other hand, have more stable environment for making friends and keeping them. He complained about his travels constantly, but when he had the chance to stay in town, he refused. I think all of these elements adds up to make a very disturbed hatful and hurtful human being. That makes sense to me, but I do not know why would he be that way toward the closest people to him, the people who want the best for him, and the people who will be with him for better or worse.