My husband and I were married in January of 1989. I was so looking forward to celebrate our first Valentine’s Day as a married couple. I was looking forward to a romantic date with my hubby and was waiting with excitements for whatever he was going to surprise me with.
I came home from work, he was already home, I hugged him, kissed him, and said ” Happy Valentine’s Day, Love” He reciprocated and said “Happy Valentine’s Day to you too my Love”. I then wanted him to say something about possibly going out, or handing me a flower or a piece of chocolate, but there was nothing of the sort. I did not want to say anything hoping for a surprise celebration, even if not that day, I was hoping on the weekend. Anything!
I went, as usually, to the kitchen, prepared dinner while he changed into casual clothes and we sat down to eat. During dinner, I started the small talk about Valentine’s Day and how big of a business it is. I told him, that I did not care for it before but now that I am married to the man of my dreams, I am so excited to be with him on this day.
What he said next, closed the doors on me celebrating Valentine’s Day for the rest of our marriage, and at that time, it meant the rest of my life. He started lecturing me on the origin of Valentine’s Day. He said that the whole idea of men giving gifts to women is absurd and it should be the other war around. In fact, women are supposed to shower men with gifts according to the intends of the Day.
He then started telling me how he never wants to contribute to the absurdity of what the media and the card-flower-chocolate industry has made Valentine’s Day what it is today and wants to send a message to said industry that he would never participate in the charade. Needless to say, I went to bed that night very disappointed and feeling bad that I as long as I am married to this man, I will never be able to enjoy Valentine’s Day the way all my friends and relatives do.
Here we are 32 years later, I have never celebrated Valentine’s Day, and every year I think of that first Valentine’s Day and how big a let down I felt.