The first eight years I wanted to have a baby so bad that I ignored his temper, his yelling, his screaming his jumping, his absolute horror because I just was focused on having a baby. I mistakenly thought that if we have a baby everything’s going be OK. We were then blessed with the most beautiful baby but tyrant husband did not change and now I had to deal with his verbal abuse and the bad treatment towards me and trying to protect and shield my son from him. I didn’t realize what I had done was brought somebody else to join in this terrible life of mine.
I kept trying and trying and trying for many years to fix things, but I just gave up about 5 or 6 years ago or maybe more than that, I gave up, I stop talking about him
He had a way of demeaning me in every possible way. For example, if we’re talking about someone who had done something really awful to somebody else and we discussed this behavior, before long my husband will start calling me that person’s name to insult me and tell me that I am as horrible as that person we just talked about.
For a long time, I subconsciously started to defend anyone and any behavior because I was afraid that when we go home, I’ll be identified as that person.