The amount of pain inside me can fill the world. I hold it inside for fear if it spills out of me, it will hurt all around me whom I love.  If I open up to friends about my life, the first thing out of their mouth would be to leave my brutal husband.  Even if this is not hard to do as “Getting a divorce” on it sown, the ramification for all who are effected by it would be very difficult.  My son had nothing to do with me choosing a jerk as his dad, but he will live all his life effected by a broken home. Every girl he meets will question his commitment to marriage because his parents did not stay together.  He will suffer by me getting out of the hell I live in.  In other words, I relief my self from being hurt, and I then hurt my son for the rest of his life.

What about the rest of my family, how are my parents who’ve been married for 68 years and very old going to handle their daughter getting a divorce.  All around me say that I married a horrible guy and everyone would stand with me to help me, but after the divorce is done, and reality syncs in, how much hurt are they going to live with? and how much guilt am I going to endure?

Why is it that we live in a reactionary times? why can’t people fix the problem instead of running away from it? the pain and suffering from these issues in our world today is growing in so many ways and no matter where we run, its catching up to all of us and began to consume us. Why can’t we fix the issue from its roots and raise people who are not hurtful, cheats, bullies, and mean?