More than 10 years ago, when our son was still in middle school. One of his friends invited him to swim in their pool. They also invited me to be there because the mom and I are friends. We went and had a great time visiting with these friends. We came home at about 9 pm, both very tired, and went to our rooms to get ready to go to sleep.

My husband came to the bathroom while I was changing into me pajamas and told me that I needed to take all my belongings out of our bedroom tonight because he had hired a contractor to remodel our master bathroom and the contractor will start at 8 am the following morning.

I didn’t have any time to prepare for this work, nor did I know anything about the remodeling project. He acted alone as he always does. I don’t get a say in anything that goes on around the house. I work, and make half of the salaries that support our household, but I get zero say in anything; I don’t get a signature authority on our checks, no say in spending, have no money to spend, and no say in decorating or remodeling our house. If I open my mouth to object, he would rage loudly which would hurt my son so I stay quiet.

People don’t usually know him and know his character when they first meet him, but some do after a short while. He has a sense about these people and usually makes sure we stay away from them. Few people have been courageous enough to have told me to leave him shortly after they met him. I didn’t because I was either too afraid, didn’t know what to do and how to do it, but mostly, I just wanted to provide my son with the 2 parents home even when that meant I stay quiet.