He got a new job, but kept telling me he’s unemployed

When his Florida job was about to end, his old company called and left a message on our answering machine letting him know that they are rehiring x-employees and would like to ask if he wanted to go back to work there. My son and I were at home, heard the recording and called him immediately and were very excited that he’ll have a job as soon as the current job ends. He was happy to hear this good news, took the name and number of the caller and told me he’ll call him.

After that day, every time I asked him about that job and the possibility of him going to work there, he always answered me with “I don’t know yet” or “I have not heard yet”. Then he started painting a grim picture telling me that his current job is almost finished and he has no prospect, he does not know what to do and his famous way of insinuating to us not having money. Every time he made me feel poor, I always tried to help by either getting another job, or asked my family for help, or gave him options to get jobs himself. At that time, I did not have any option; I’ve taken too much money from my family and I had a full time job and was busy with our son’s school and after school activities.

Every time I checked with him about new prospect for a job he always replied in a negative way letting me know how bad he feels and that we’re just going to have to cut all our expenses to zero until something happens. That’s when I became very depressed; saw a very grim picture of our lives, expected we sell our home and just live on my income until he gets another job.

All this was going on while he was working in Florida with an every two weeks break for one long weekend. He always left from our town at the 3 pm flight back to Florida. One of those weekend trips, he left very early on Monday morning to catch his flight. When I asked him why was he changing his flight times, he just told me he has a lot of work to do and needed to go back early. All along, he is telling me how bad he feels that we are going to have to sell our home if he doesn’t get another job. We might move to another city since his expertise requires him working with large corporations and there are very few big firms in our small town. Every time he talked like that, I slipped deeper and deeper in depression. I did not want to move away from here, I did not want to find new home, new friends, and be away from my family.

His talks of not having a job increased and I was more unhappy and depressed here alone trying to cope with being a working mom, taking care of the house, chores, son, and a full time job while knowing we’re about to be homeless, as he always reminded me we would soon be.

On the Wednesday before his last day of work in Florida, when my son and I came home, we heard a message on our answering machine giving my husband instructions on where to go and who to see on his first day back to work starting the following Monday. Even at that time, I was still dumb and believed his lies, I was so happy that I planned a surprise celebration dinner for him when he arrive on Friday.

He knew all about it. He had gone there, interviewed, got the job, scheduled his start date, and chose not to tell me about it. He wanted me to be in pain agonizing over where would our next meal come from. At that time, when we picked him up from the airport and went home for a celebration dinner, I had no idea of the size of his cruelty. My son and I decorated the house and I cooked a nice meal. Picked him up from the airport and were going to celebrate when we got home but when we got home and told him what we were celebrating, he asked me “Oh you knew about that?”. That’s when it hit me, he was planning to get the sympathy treatment where I submit to every demand afraid to bother him and if possible, get him money from others just to please him. He knew months ago that he had gotten the job, he just hid it from me while I got hurt more and more thinking where we’d be very soon. He didn’t care about how I felt, even though my hurt and sad feelings could possibly transfer to our son, but as long as he was happy, who cares about the rest!

6 thoughts on “He got a new job, but kept telling me he’s unemployed

  1. I often feel like the male side of this poor lady! I often bend over backward to please my wife and two adult boys! My reward is verbal abuse and anger!

    While reading this story, though, I recalled how I often treated my mother with anger!Could my case occur because of “what goes around, comes around?”

    Not in this ladies case! He just sounds like a mean man! However, I’m glad her story gave me a chance to reflect on my personal responsibility for my environment

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks you for replying Al and thank you for reflecting on your upbringing. Anyone who does a self evaluation as you are doing, will always reform him or herself and if the other partner is a good and decent person, life will be good together. Unfortunately, my husband, even though he had rough upbringing, he refuses to let himself this that anyone else in the world could be wright. Thanks again for your comment. This means a lot.


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