For most of our married life, we would go to sleep either together or separately, but an hour or two into the night my husband’s snoring would wake me up and I cannot go to sleep. What I used to do, was take my pillow and go finish up my sleep in the spare room. He used to get upset with me but I could not help myself. If I did not have to get up early and go to work, I probably would’ve stayed in our bed but I couldn’t sustain myself on just 2 to 3 hours of sleep. I’ve always had stressful jobs and could not risk not preforming well. He took what I was doing as abandonment and could not understand there are other people around him who might have needs and concerns, especially if one of those people is me.
About 10 to 12 years ago, my husband decided to teach me a lesson and started leaving bed whenever I get in. He would do it in a way where as soon as I get in, he would get up in disgust and anger, take his pillow and leave. It was like I stunk or something. He was too lazy to go sleep in the spare room which was in the basement, so he would go to our son’s room. At first, he would sleep on the floor there and after a short while, he got tired of sleeping on the floor, he would get in bed with our son. I hated that and my son hated it more. His bed is full size and he was uncomfortable going to sleep and then his dad would get in bed with him. To avoid that, I started going to sleep in the spare room, but that still did not stop my husband of going to sleep in our son’s room. My son asked me to get his dad out of his bed and out of his room and I wanted to handle it in the most appropriate way so he won’t think I am accusing him of wrongdoings.
The only way I could help with this was to talk to the same family friend couple that we ask for help doing our disagreements. But even that was tough because I did not want them to get the wrong idea but I needed to do something. My goal was to get him out of our son’s room and I stopped caring what he or anyone else thought.
I went to them and talked to them and they told him he should stop sleeping in his 11 years old son’s room. He was very angry with me because I made him do something he did not want to do but honestly, I Just Did Not Care.
What is unbelievable is that if I had gone to my husband and told him that one of our friends is going to sleep in him child’s room or bed, he would think the worst of that person. He would talk badly about him and accuse him of several disgusting things. Yet, when he does it, his ego doesn’t think there is anything wrong with it.