When my son was born, my husband kept talking about how he’ll never wear sneakers. I was knocking down how parents in the US just let their kids wear sneaker. He would yell at me if I tell him that it’s better for our son to wear comfortable shoes vs leather ones. His argument was that I don’t know what I’m talking about, his leather shoes are very comfortable. I did not want our son to be wearing different type of clothes or shoes just because his dad does not approve of them. There is not reason he was pushing for these things; not a cultural reason, or religious reason. It was because he just wanted things to be done as he says even if they are wrong.

He always talked about how proper our son has to dress, no t-shirts, no sneakers, shirts must be tucked in, etc. etc. Our son was still a toddler and my husband won’t stop talking about these things. Thankfully non of these items were available for toddlers so we were ok for that time frame but I was very worried for later. My husband went to England for college and he always felt that he belonged there, not the US.

One morning, while our son was still sleeping, during breakfast, my husband started the conversation on how he never wants to see our son in casual clothing, and he kept going on and on. I told my husband that I needed to leave to go to buy groceries, and will be back in about an hour or so. When I came back, I saw my husband walking outside in our neighborhood and our son on his tricycle still wearing his pajamas. I waved at them and went home. After the came home, I took my son to his room to change him. My husband came after me and started his “No casual clothes” talk. I replied to him that the most casual outfits are pajamas, and he just took our son in his pajamas outside. How is that logical in light of what he’s been saying all morning long? I truly don’t remember what exactly he said to me after that, all I remember that I was very scared of him for a long time. I made sure that our son was with me every time my husband was around because I knew he won’t really hurt me in front of our son.