Before my husband and I got married, he was very attentive, wanted to take care of me, and told me how much he loved me. I was so in love, I believed every thing he told me. He gave me expensive gifts and made me feel loved. All this changed very quickly after we got married. Not long after we got married, he became a completely different person. He started yelling at me for the slightest thing, he showed no emotions at all, and he would not give me any money to spend on life’s necessaties.
I did not know anyone in the town we lived in after our wedding. I only knew his family and his uncle’s family. His uncle’s wife was friendly to me so I formed a comfortable relationship with her. Once he noticed that I am talking with her few times a week, he started putting obstacles in our ways. He told me that she is not a good friend, she’s been a cause of many fights and disagreements in the family, she is a bad person and I should stay away from her. He and his mom even told me few times that this lady’s cooking is very bad. He did everything possible to keep me away from her. At that time, I believed everything he and his mother told me and I stayed away from his uncle’s wife. What I was very puzzled at was the fact that when we were invited to his uncle’s house, and we did get invited a lot, he, his mom, and the uncle’s wife seem very friendly, they had many inside jokes, we always had a great time visiting with them, and her food was delicious.
I was so naive at that time, I never put 2 and 2 together. Just took things at its face value and believed everything the man I loved told me. It was years later, and repeated tainted advice about his family members, that made me realize that he just wanted me separated from everyone around me. He spoke ill of everyone in his family, and later when we moved closer to my family, did the same about my friends and family. Every time we were invited to dinner with any friend and family member, as soon as we get in the car going back home, he would start talking badly about everyone and if I dare to defend anyone (I did that a lot at the beginning, I was an outspoken righteous person at that time), he would start insulting me and yells uncontrollably which would end up with me crying and not sleeping all night long. The Yelling, screaming, and insulting world is my husband’s comfort zone. He always wanted to go to that zone and it did not matter how he ends up there. I never wanted to end up in that zone, but he always managed to take me there. He manipulated his way to get me insulted, yelled and screamed at every chance he got.