I’m Not Included in his Trip Plans

Few years ago during a summer break, we went to England to because my dad’s childhood friend was turning 90. My parents, and us three went to for few days to visit London and to attend the birthday party. We were busy all the time visiting places in London and visiting friends who live there. While there I kept hearing my husband telling others that after we leave London, he and our son will not go back to the US like the rest of us, they, instead will go to the Netherlands to visit one of my husband’s cousins. He would never include me in any of the conversations and if I look at him, he’ll just end the conversation with whoever he was talking. I had no idea before we left our home that my husband and our son were not coming back with me. I asked my son while we were there if what I am hearing is true and he said yes, dad wants to go visit his cousin in the Netherlands and want to take me with him for a week after we leave London. On the last day of our trip, our friends invited us to dinner and the conversation was fine until someone asked my husband about going to the Netherlands. He said that he is going and our son, and my friend then asked me if I was going, I said no, I was not invited. She looked at him puzzled and said “why aren’t you taking your wife with you?” he told be “because she has work and has to be back for that” I was very uncomfortable with that lie. He comes up with these lies and carries them in his head until he actually believes them and then they become realities. I was never told about going to the Netherlands, I was not invited he wanted to have a reason in his head for why he did not tell me or invite me to go with him, and that made the most sense. He does no want me around when he tells people these lies because I am the only one who knows its a lie. That is why he exclude me from conversations with anyone. He is always worried about what has he told this person and is my wife going to reveal the lies I’ve told them?

Overtime, He never wanted me around at all. He would make friends, lies to them and after a while they realize he’s lying to them and he would stop being friends with them. subsequently, he’ll meet new set of friends and repeat the same thing, lie, gets uncomfortable, they realize he’s lying, and eventually stop that friendship. That’s the life of a habitual liar.

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