We had many family and extended family and friends come to town to celebrate our son’s First Communion. We were all so excited for the event, had invited more than 100 people and were going to church first, have a reception and outdoors children activities, and then a dinner banquet party with live band and dancing.
While my family and most of the extended family members live in our town or nearby, my husbands live far and had to travel to come here. Our customs are to host them on our house so we had my mother in law, and 2 of my husband’s siblings stay with us. During their stay, I was cooking for them traditional meals and we were having great time with them. Usually there are only my son and I because my husband traveled a lot and when my husband was in town, he hardly talked to me so we had a somewhat quiet home. During those few days leading up to the First communion and after, we had a houseful of guest and we enjoyed having everyone.
It is worth mentioning, my husband tries to show his siblings that we have a good relationship. He doesn’t try to do that with his mother, but he does with his siblings. It’s like, he wants to compete with them on who has the better marriage, better home, more money, etc. So during those days, I enjoyed my husband talking with me and treating me like a normal human being.
After the celebrations and most people, except his mom, did go back. One morning, we were having breakfast, my husband, my son, my mother in law and me, when my husband pleasantly surprised me by asking if we still have any more of a especial dish. Even though I love cooking and I cook well, he always put my cooking down. When he asked for it, I was happy and got up to go to the refrigerator to get it for him, he repeated the request by saying “the one my mom made”. I didn’t think twice about it just rushed to get it and while I was removing the saran wrap, I said to him “I made it”. He asked what I said and I was cheerfully proud to repeat “I made it”. I was happy that he actually aren’t knocking something I’ve made and saying it loud in front of his mom. As soon as I said that he looked at his mom and looked at me and said nothing, but he did not eat it. He ate that same dish earlier and the day before when his mother lied to him and told he that she made it and loved it to ask for it again. The minute he found out I made it, he stopped eating it. The dish did not change taste, he did.
My husband knew that complementing someone on a job well done, a dish that taste good, make that person feel good, feel loved, but when that good or loved feeling was directed at me, he always found a way to immediately stop it. I keep asking myself, why? I’ve done all I could do to make his life better, and after all these years, his life is much better. The better his life got, with all my contributions, the more he hated me.