At the beginning of our marriage, when my husband told me that we need to merge everything we own. I agreed with him and we had one bank account, in his name, one safety deposit box, in his name, and every foolish think like that I agreed to and gave him full authority to do.
I gave him all my jewelry, everything I every owned all my life, and the few items he gifted me before we got married were in a safety deposit box in a bank that I had no idea where, in his name. The first five years of our marriage we moved twice and did not have many events where I would need to wear many of my jewelry. After we settled in the town we live in now, I wanted to wear few random pieces, but every time I asked him for them his respond has always been “tell me which piece you want and I’ll bring it to you”. To which I always replied “I don’t remember what I have, I need to either go myself with you to the bank, or you bring everything to me so I can see and chose what I want to wear”. That never happened. He traveled for work Monday thru Friday and on the weekends, he never had enough time to get any of the jewelry, but most importantly, he never gave me a key or put my name on the safety deposit box and authorized user.
After more that twenty years of marriage and many requests to see my jewelry, I asked for it forcefully at one of our blowout fights in front of our family friends who always intervened to help us. When they heard that he’s never given me my jewelry, the husband told my husband to go to the bank first thing in the morning, take all the jewelry, and give it to your wife. My husband had to do that. If he didn’t do what our friend told him, I won’t be the only one who knows of his intentions to keep them and never give them to me.
My husband was planning to divorce me from the first day we married; that’s why he kept control of everything. He wanted the money, the jewelry, the salary, everything and everything. If I showed any signs of unhappiness, he squeezed and crushed me more. He presented himself as the fun, wonderful person in public, and did not want our family friend to get a hint that he is what he truly is. Giving me my own jewelry, was not in his plan and he only agreed to that because he had no other choice.
The following day, he brought a plastic bag and inside it were my jewelry pieces. Since I do not remember what I had and the items he brought made me happy, I am going to assume he brought everything. I was so happy to see many pieces that reminded me of people, childhood friends, events, etc. that I was in a very cheerful mood and was making jokes and talking about many of the pieces. I also, was scared of him, I have never won a fight or argument with him before and was scared how he’s going to overpower me and turn this into another fight. I never stopped walking on eggshells around him.
During my excitements, and discussing events that these jewelry pieces reminded of, my cell phone rang and it was in the laundry room. I went to talk for a couple of minutes, and when I came back, I jokingly pretended that I was the police and was going to search him since he was left alone with the “Crown Jewels”. He was sitting at the kitchen table, same place before I went to answer my phone, and I laughingly said to him “Stand up.. Stand up” he did not know why I was telling him that so he did but when he did stand, I told him to open his arms for a search. He did not like that but went along with it and I started padding him. When I put my hand in his pockets, I got out one of my bracelets that he just gave me back with the rest of the jewelry. I didn’t know what to say, just looked at him and he said that it was broken and he was going to fix it. I looked closely and tried to lock and unlock but there was nothing wrong with it. I then took that bracelet and the rest of the jewelry away, hid it that night and went the next day and opened my own box and put everything there.
My husband stole my jewelry. writing it or saying it makes me want to cry again and again. How could he? Why would he? Why didn’t he marry me for better or worse? why didn’t he marry me to be one? Why did I let him do all this to me? I am not a weak person, but putting all these events on paper sure shows me as one.